Identity crisis?

One tends to think of the immigrant/emigrant experience as being one of cultural difficulties and social adjustment, but as Eve expresses in her recent post at Queen’s English, the personal and emotional impacts of moving to another country can in some ways be greater. In fact it’s no exaggeration to say that one’s entire sense of self can be challenged to a surprisingly large degree.

The thing is, as psychologists have pointed out, our sense of who we are to a large degree relates to memory. So suddenly having nobody around us who shares any of the major experiences from our previous life can be unnerving and troubling from an emotional point of view. Often when we meet up with old friends in our everday lives, we will reminisce about events from the past and the people that we’ve known, both good and bad. It backs up and reasserts a sense of who we are.

I must admit that one of my favourite fantasies when seized by bouts of homesickness is just to be in the pub with old friends. People who know me, understand where I coming from, get my sense of humour. They’ve done some of the same things as me, met some of the same people, and lived in the same places. (I sometimes yearn for my previous access to affordable health and dental care too, but that’s another matter!)

Of course, one can’t allow oneself to be too much seized by nostalgia. It is easy to slip into the trap of romanticizing one’s homeland, if you’re not careful. There is nothing worse than the sentimental expat barfly, crying into his beer. Plus for me personally, I have been through some not dissimilar experiences before – leaving home and going to university in another part of the country, for instance. I have also known many people in the UK who’ve come to live from other places. It sometimes seems like half the world is hopping around between countries nowadays.

Given the pressures, I can understand why some emigrants return to their homeland within a year, or university students drop out before the first term has finished, but that isn’t really my style, and nor is it Eve’s, I would venture.

Questioning authority (British and American differences)

I remember back in the 1980s when I shared a house with the American poet, Lyman Andrews, who worked as an American Studies lecturer at Leicester University at the time.  He used to really make fun of what he saw as the British tendency to obey authority without question.  He saw it as virtually a form of instinctive sheepishness.  His theory was that you only had to behave like a figure of authority and British people would obey you without question. 

Part of Lyman’s attitude came from his own rebellious personality (he was a raving alcoholic, openly bisexual, and loved to behave outrageously) but mostly it was cultural, I’d say.  His assertion that Americans are far more likely to question authority figures is almost certainly true.

British people are brought up from a young age to respect authority and there is a reverence for rules and laws that can mystify many other cultures.  (There is, of course, the British yob/hooligan subculture which delights in deliberately breaking rules, but they are the exception that proves the rule).

The advantage of such conformity, of course, is that Britain is essentially a very stable society and hasn’t had as many destructive upheavals as our European neighbours in the past two hundred years, or extremist governments, for that matter.  If you want something changing in Britain, you are supposed to go through all the proper channels and at some point in the future, it might or might not happen – in the meantime you are supposed to endure things as they are – which can be somewhat frustrating to say the least!  Another criticism of the British attitude (that even Brits themselves will often acknowledge), is that there is a general reluctance to complain about anything, a fear of “kicking up a fuss”, even when people are treated in an obviously rude, or poor manner – such as getting a bad service in a restaurant. 

American’s value their freedom, which is a good thing.  But the American attitude towards authority isn’t always entirely healthy either, in my opinion.  At the extreme, many Americans can seem distrustful to the point of paranoia at times, when viewed from a British perspective.  Conspiracy theories (many of them positively outlandish) about the government and other public bodies abound in the US.  There is also a tendency sometimes for rants about the Bill of Rights and the US Constitution to be invoked for trivial matters like getting a parking ticket.

My American wife doesn’t quite agree with me on this next point, but I would say that generally speaking, the US authorities allow more freedom, but if you cross the line, they come down on you much heavier and in a more pedantic way than in the UK.  In Britain, there is a tighter overview of things, but there is a more pragmatic approach taken by people such as the police and other officials and much of the time you can be let off for transgressions, even when you have clearly broken the rules.   In some ways, the overall net effect of the US and British systems are the same, but how they go about things can be quite different.

I would also say that although joking around with officials such as customs officials and the police can often be a tricky game to play, I personally suspect that you can get away with an awful lot more in the UK.  US officialdom doesn’t take any crap, basically.  As American writer, Bill Bryson says: “I had also got used to the idea that here (in Britain) you can make quips all the time and in America that can be very dangerous. I wrote about it in one of the books. Once I was going through customs and immigration in Boston, and the guy said as I went past "Any fruit or vegetables?" and I said "OK, I'll have four pounds of potatoes if they are fresh" and it was like he was going to take me off and pin me to the floor.”

If my wife is anything to go by, Americans tend to be troubled by things such as the number of CCTV cameras that exist in the UK, which are seen as an infringement of privacy (I don’t like them much myself either, but I am generally outnumbered by other Brits who tend to see them as deterring crime).

There is also a big fuss here in the US at the moment about airport security checks – although I do suspect that part of the difference in attitude is that in the UK, where domestic terrorism has been a major problem for longer, the security has been incrementally increasing over decades, so we have got gradually accustomed to it - whereas the US had very little internal security before 9/11 and then lots after, so many people resent suddenly being searched after traveling more or less unhindered for years.

Brits, on the other hand (well, certainly me), are disturbed by what seems like an extraordinarily high amount of people who are incarcerated in the US.  7% of all Americans are locked up in a jail at any one time, which is the highest documented rate for any country in the world according to Wikipedia.  I know that the US has lots of problems with violent crime, but it just doesn’t seem right for a democracy to lock up so many of its own people (even if there is popular support for it).

I guess my overall view would be that the US can seem paradoxically both a bit more anarchic and a bit more authoritarian than the UK, if that sounds possible?  Maybe “authoritarian” is bad word usage, maybe it’s better to say that the authorities just seem harsher.  I guess it’s also worth noting that Britain is fairly extreme in that the police aren’t evenly routinely armed, so that is the kind of “norm” that I come from!  (Of course, many in the US and some on the rightwing in the UK would just say that Britain was just too soft and a “nanny state”).

American humour vs British humour: What's the difference?

As it’s a subject that fascinates me, I thought I’d do a little research before I wrote my American humour vs British humour comparison, so I read what British comics, Ricky Gervais and Simon Pegg had to say on the subject.  Overall, there seems to be a surprising amount of consensus on the similarities and differences, although I do differ from Ricky and Simon on certain things.  I also read an article by the Ausie comedian, Tim Minchin, recently, which is another interesting take.

So what do I think are the differences between American and British humour (apart from the obvious fact that they spell it ‘humor’ in the USA!)?

Well, every article you read always includes something on Americans not “getting” irony, so let’s get that one out of the way for starters.  It’s true that irony is a far less common feature of US culture than it is in British. Irony virtually runs in the blood of Brits, we use it as a way of mocking our enemies, play fighting with friends, and laughing at ourselves. In the US it is used much less in everyday life and it is generally seen as inappropriate in situations where it is normal in the UK. I have had ratchet back on my use of irony considerably since I got here. 

I think there are 3 ways that irony can be misunderstood or cause confusion when a Brit uses it here:

1. It is being used in a context that is appropriate in a British context, but simply not done in the USA. 

2. Although “taking the piss” is seen as fun in the UK, there is an ever present danger of you being perceived as being mean-spirited in the USA.

3. Generally speaking, Americans are much more serious in their approach to life, their beliefs, and themselves than the Brits.  It’s actually quite rare for an American to be seen laughing at their own foibles, in my experience, so they are suspicious of others doing it.

To avoid problems, many Americans who use irony will often "signpost" it - they will add an "only joking" to the end of an ironic statement (which seems to defeat the point of irony to me!)

There are, of course, positives to the American not-taking-the-piss approach in that there is far less of the negative dragging down that can happen when people use humour to ridicule people in the UK.

That is the general picture, of course.  Ironically (!) some of the best American humour IMHO swims against the mainstream tide, in that it is laden with irony and self-deprecation and absurdity – I’m thinking of programmes like Curb Your Enthusiasm (one of my favourite comedies of all time).  There is lots of great "smart" humour here, but it sometimes seems to be overwhelmed by "dumb" humour.

Obviously America is a big and varied place and no matter what your style of humour, there will always be *someone* somewhere who finds it funny.  However, I would differ from the people who say that the sense of humour is essentially the same and would personally put the overlap at about 85%.    

At one end of the scale is the extreme end of the mainstream American humour, which is simply not funny for most Brits – you rarely see it on British TV because the TV execs know that it’s not worth buying for a UK audience.  On an everyday level, British blogger, Iota Quota described it as feeling a bit like being hit on the head with a rubber mallet.  Some of it is so unsubtle that I am often not even quite sure whether it is supposed to be humour or not, unless and until I can grasp the context or see someone smiling. 

At the other end of the scale is the ultra dry British humour, delivered without a smile, and with even the irony being implied, rather than overt.  This sort of humour is especially common in Yorkshire, where I lived for 20 years.  Most (though not all) Americans struggle to recognize the extremely dry as humour.  Other styles of British humour that don’t really feature so much here are wordplay, like puns, which are nowhere near as common (thankfully?).  There are also peculiarly British things such as our penchant for men dressing up as women (Monty Python, Les Dawson, Shakespeare) which are generally alien to the American mind (there's a classic episode of The Simpsons which jokes on this, but I couldn't find it on Youtube).

Humour is tied so much to culture at the end of the day.  I generally like the way that Americans take things seriously and it’s a novelty to be living in a culture where people actually believe in things – but I sometimes wish that Americans could laugh at themselves a little bit more, occasionally.

I guess I would sum the whole thing up as the British are essentially miserablist, but this is tempered by their ability to find humour in everything, including themselves.  Whereas Americans generally have a more positive attitude to life, but this is tempered sometimes by their tendency to take themselves too seriously.